Nisargadatta's "I Am That" - chapter 82
Absolute Perfection is Here and Now.
Questioner: The war is on.
What is your attitude to it?
Maharaj: In some place or other, in some form or other, the war is always on.
Was there a time when there was no war?
Some say it is the will of God.
Some say it is God's play.
It is another way of saying that wars are inevitable and nobody is responsible.
Q: But what is your own attitude?
M: Why impose attitudes on me?
I have no attitude to call my own.
Q: Surely somebody is responsible for this horrible and senseless carnage.
Why do people kill each other so readily?
M: Search for the culprit within.
The ideas of 'me' and 'mine' are at the root of all conflict.
Be free of them and you will be out of conflict.
Q: What of it that I am out of conflict?
It will not affect the war.
If I am the cause of war, I am ready to be destroyed.
Yet, it stands to reason that the disappearance of a thousand like me will not stop wars.
They did not start with my birth nor will end with my death.
I am not Responsible.
M: Strife and struggle are a part of existence.
Why don't you enquire who is responsible for existence?
Q: Why do you say that existence and conflict are inseparable?
Can there be no existence without strife?
I need not fight others to be myself.
M: You fight others all the time for your survival as a separate body-mind, a particular name and form.
To live you must destroy.
From the moment you were conceived you started a war with your environment -- a merciless war of mutual extermination, until death sets you free.
Q: My question remains unanswered.
You are merely describing what I know -- life and its sorrows.
But who is responsible, you do not say.
When I press you, you throw the blame on God, or karma, or on my own greed and fear -- which merely invites further questions.
Give me the final answer.
M: The final answer is this: nothing is.
All is a momentary appearance in the field of the universal consciousness; continuity as name and form is a mental formation only, easy to dispel.
Q: I am asking about the immediate, the transitory, the appearance.
Here is a picture of a child killed by soldiers.
It is a fact -- staring at you.
You cannot deny it.
Now, who is responsible for the death of the child?
M: Nobody and everybody.
The world is what it contains and each thing affects all others.
We all kill the child and we all die with it.
Every event has innumerable causes and produces numberless effects.
It is useless to keep accounts, nothing is traceable.
Q: Your people speak of karma and retribution.
M: It is merely a gross approximation: in reality we are all creators and creatures of each other, causing and bearing each other's burden.
Q: So, the innocent suffers for the guilty?
M: In our ignorance we are innocent; in our actions we are guilty.
We sin without knowing and suffer without understanding.
Our only hope: to stop, to look, to understand and to get out of the traps of memory.
For memory feeds imagination and imagination generates desire and fear.
Q: Why do I imagine at all?
M: The light of consciousness passes through the film of memory and throws pictures on your brain.
Because of the deficient and disordered state of your brain, what you perceive is distorted and coloured by feelings of like and dislike.
Make your thinking orderly and free from emotional overtones, and you will see people and things as they are, with clarity and charity.
The witness of birth, life and death is one and the same.
It is the witness of pain and of love.
For while the existence in limitation and separation is sorrowful, we love it.
We love it and hate it at the same time.
We fight, we kill, we destroy life and property and yet we are affectionate and self- sacrificing.
We nurse the child tenderly and orphan it too.
Our life is full of contradictions.
Yet we cling to it.
This clinging is at the root of everything.
Still, it is entirely superficial.
We hold on to something or somebody, with all our might and next moment we forget it; like a child that shapes its mud-pies and abandons them light-heartedly.
Touch them -- it will scream with anger, divert the child and he forgets them.
For our life is now, and the love of it is now.
We love variety, the play of pain and pleasure, we are fascinated by contrasts.
For this we need the opposites and their apparent separation.
We enjoy them for a time and then get tired and crave for the peace and silence of pure being.
The cosmic heart beats ceaselessly.
I am the witness and the heart too.
Q: I can see the picture, but who is the painter?
Who is responsible for this terrible and yet adorable experience?
M: The painter is in the picture.
You separate the painter from the picture and look for him.
Don't separate and don't put false questions.
Things are as they are and nobody in particular is responsible.
The idea of personal responsibility comes from the illusion of agency.
'Somebody must have done it, somebody is responsible'.
Society as it is now, with its framework of laws and customs, is based on the idea of a separate and responsible personality, but this is not the only form a society can take.
There may be other forms, where the sense of separation is weak and responsibility diffused.
Q: An individual with a weak sense of personality -- is he nearer self-realisation?
M: Take the case of a young child.
The sense of 'I-am' is not yet formed, the personality is rudimentary.
The obstacles to self knowledge are few, but the power and the clarity of awareness, its width and depth are lacking.
In the course of years awareness will grow stronger, but also the latent personality will emerge and obscure and complicate.
Just as the harder the wood, the hotter the flame, so the stronger the personality, brighter the light generated from its destruction.
Q: Have you no problems?
M: I do have problems.
I told you already.
To be, to exist with a name and form is painful, yet I love it.
Q: But you love everything!
M: In existence everything is contained.
My very nature is to love; even the painful is lovable.
Q: It does not make it less painful.
Why not remain in the unlimited?
M: It is the instinct of exploration, the love of the unknown, that brings me into existence.
It is in the nature of being to see adventure in becoming, as it is in the very nature of becoming to seek peace in being.
This alteration of being and becoming is inevitable; but my home is beyond.
Q: Is your home in God?
M: To love and worship a god is also ignorance.
My home is beyond all notions, however sublime.
Q: But God is not a notion!
It is the reality beyond existence.
M: You may use any word you like.
Whatever you may think of am beyond it.
Q: Once you know your home, why not stay in it?
What takes you out of it?
M: Out of love for corporate existence one is born and once born, one gets involved in destiny.
Destiny is inseparable from becoming.
The desire to be the particular makes you into a person with all its personal past and future.
Look at some great man, what a wonderful man he was!
And yet how troubled was his life and limited its fruits.
How utterly dependent is the personality of man and how indifferent is its world.
And yet we love it and protect it for its very insignificance.
Q: The war is on and there is chaos and you are being asked to take charge of a feeding centre.
You are given what is needed, it is only a question of getting through the job.
Will you refuse it?
M: To work, or not to work, is one and the same to me.
I may take charge, or may not.
There may be others, better endowed for such tasks, than I am -- professional caterers for instance.
But my attitude is different.
I do not look at death as a calamity as I do not rejoice at the birth of a child.
The child is out for trouble while the dead is out of it.
Attachment to life is attachment to sorrow.
We love what gives us pain.
Such is our nature.
For me the moment of death will be a moment of jubilation, not of fear.
I cried when I was born and I shall die laughing.
Q: What is the change in consciousness at the moment of death?
M: What change do you expect?
When the film projection ends all remains the same as when it started.
The state before you were born was also the state after death, if you remember.
Q: I remember nothing.
M: Because you never tried.
It is only a question of tuning in the mind.
It requires training, of course.
Q: Why don't you take part in social work?
M: But I am doing nothing else all the time!
And what is the social work you want me to do?
Patchwork is not for me.
My stand is clear: produce to distribute, feed before you eat, give before you take, think of others, before you think of yourself.
Only a selfless society based on sharing can be stable and happy.
This is the only practical solution.
If you do not want it -- fight.
Q: It is all a matter of gunas.
Where tamas and rajas predominate, there must be war.
Where sattva rules, there will be peace.
M: Put it whichever way you like, it comes to the same.
Society is built on motives.
Put goodwill into the foundations and you will not need specialised social workers.
Q: The world is getting better.
M: The world had all the time to get better, yet it did not.
What hope is there for the future?
Of course, there have been and will be periods of harmony and peace, when sattva was in ascendance, but things get destroyed by their own perfection.
A perfect society is necessarily static and, therefore, it stagnates and decays.
From the summit all roads lead downwards.
Societies are like people -- they are born, they grow to some point of relative perfection and then decay and die.
Q: Is there not a state of absolute perfection which does not decay?
M: Whatever has a beginning must have an end.
In the timeless all is perfect, here and now.
Q: But shall we reach the timeless in due course?
M: In due course we shall come back to the starting point.
Time cannot take us out of time, as space cannot take us out of space.
All you get by waiting is more waiting.
Absolute perfection is here and now, not in some future, near or far.
The secret is in action -- here and now.
It is your behaviour that blinds you to yourself.
Disregard whatever you think yourself to be and act as if you were absolutely perfect -- whatever your idea of perfection may be.
All you need is courage.
Q: Where do I find such courage?
M: In yourself, of course.
All you need you have.
Behave as best you know, do what you think you should.
Don't be afraid of mistakes; you can always correct them, only intentions matter.
The shape things take is not within your power; the motives of your actions are.
Q: How can action born from imperfection lead to perfection?
M: Action does not lead to perfection; perfection is expressed in action.
As long as you judge yourself by your expressions give them utmost attention; when you realise your own being your behaviour will be perfect -- spontaneously.
Q: If I am timelessly perfect, then why was I born at all?
What is the purpose of this life?
M: It is like asking: what does it profit gold to be made into an ornament?
The ornament gets the colour and the beauty of gold; gold is not enriched.
Similarly, reality expressed in action makes the action meaningful and beautiful.
Q: What does the real gain through its expressions?
M: What can it gain?
But it is in the nature of love to express itself, to affirm itself, to overcome difficulties.
Once you have understood that the world is love in action, you will look at it quite differently.
But first your attitude to suffering must change.
Suffering is primarily a call for attention, which itself is a movement of love.
More than happiness, love wants growth, the widening and deepening of consciousness and being.
Whatever prevents becomes a cause of pain, and love does not shirk from pain.
Sattva, the energy that works for righteousness and orderly development, must not be thwarted.
When obstructed it turns against itself and becomes destructive.
Whenever love is withheld and suffering allowed to spread, war becomes inevitable.
Our indifference to our neighbour's sorrow brings suffering to our door.