Premananda's letters to Nellie 1

I heard today from Mother Athena that she had heard from you, and so I thought I would write. I am very sad to hear via Athena that poor Ganga Babu was hurt. Why such bad trouble for such a beautiful soul? And, also, Athena tells me that money is needed for fixing Baba’s house. I am sad that I don’t have much, but I will send what little I can via Athena.

I am living in Albany now, which is about five miles from my hometown. I am supporting myself temporarily by taking care of an old man. Of course, I am feeling very lonely in my soul for Baba. I am trying to write of my experiences as Baba instructed, but it is difficult. The grace by which I was brought to wonderful Baba is God Himself, and who can aptly tell of it? Who can understand it?

I am longing to hear from you about your trip. I hope you will write and tell me what happened and how was Baba and what he did and said. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and wonder if it was all real. My precious memories of that Beloved Father seem too sweet to be true at times. Did ever the sun shine so beautifully as our Baba’s eyes? Any words you can write of him will be hungrily devoured by me as the child takes his mother’s milk.

I have some slides from the festival which I must get made into prints. I think Baba will like them. I shall send you some.

I am studying Bengali every day a little bit. Using my dictionary and working patiently and slowly, I can now write simple letters to Baba in Bengali which makes me very happy. It was sometimes kind of painful to me to be dependent on translators all the time. Hearing and understanding it, of course, is always more difficult than speaking or writing. When the Lord’s graces take me back to Baba, I hope to be able to speak to him directly. Well, all love to you. My many thanks to you for being an instrument by which God has drawn me to his feet. I marvel at His mysterious ways.

Om Hari! Om Narayan Om Vishnu Om Ramakrishna Om Baba

Premananda